Even as a Fake, I'm Better
by ShadowBlah2
Summary: R2 Episode 13: Rolo wouldn't let anyone drag Lelouch down; not Nunnally, not Shirley. His personal issues never played into his decision in the slightest.


**Even as a Fake, I'm Better**

Jeremiah Johann Gottwald, a man who simply wouldn't go away, no matter how many times Lelouch beat him, was on the loose. He'd been transformed, now almost more machine than man, and even had the troubling ability to cancel Geass as well. Rolo wasn't sure what he could do to stop a juggernaut like that, but he went to Ikebukuro all the same. He had to. Lelouch was there, and if Sayoko couldn't put the cyborg assassin down then his physically inept older brother wouldn't stand a chance.

It was strange to Rolo, to fight to defend someone else, to save a life rather than heartlessly taking it. This is what it meant to be human, right? To have bonds of friendship and family, and to want to protect them?

But Lelouch wasn't his family. Rolo knew that. The thought nagged him at every opportunity. He wanted to get lost in the lies, to just live as Rolo Lamperouge forever and have a normal life. He wanted Lelouch to love and care for him, and in turn be willing to rely on him when he was in a jam. He wanted to have that bond, even if it was a lie.

Now, standing in front of Shirley Fenette in an abandoned train station, sirens crying out in the background, he was confronted with that lie.

"Answer me, Rolo," she said firmly. "Do you truly love Lulu?"

Rolo's eyes flitted down at the orangette's hands, where she held a pistol uncertainly. She wasn't trained in its use. He could tell. She wasn't practicing gun safety, or else she was planning on shooting him when she was done her little speech. Either way the situation could only go poorly for her. He was an assassin where she was not. He was skilled in the use of most firearms and proficient in multiple forms of hand to hand combat, regardless if his physique was too scrawny to make use of it. Shirley was not.

"Rolo, I love Lulu, but what about you?"

Did he love Lelouch? He replied hesitantly, eyeing the gun in her trembling hand.

"What a question. He's my only brother, so of course I love him."

"Then you're on Lulu's side right?" The girl smiled and relaxed her death grip on the pistol, moving her finger away from the trigger as well. "Please, let me join you! I want Lulu to be safe too, I can help you protect him!"

Huh? Where did that come from? Shirley couldn't possibly know, could she? That Lelouch was Zero? Was their cover compromised? Rolo drew back cautiously, every nerve and muscle tensed, ready to spring into action. If she didn't actually know what was going on he could disarm her, no need for Geass - using it would be inefficient. Nor would she have to die. A needless death so close to both he and Lelouch could raise questions about them, could lead someone to discovering their secrets - an unacceptable result. But if she _did_ know something...

Her voice was pleading though. She seemed sincere. If she could be useful to Lelouch then there was no reason not to bring her into the Black Knights. Having useful agents was important. Rolo's personal feelings on the matter were not.

"I want to bring all the happiness back into Lulu's life! Then maybe he can be together with his sister Nuna."

Nunnally? Did Shirley mean the Viceroy of Area 11? That traitor to Lelouch, fighting against him, against everything he stood for? No. That selfish princess didn't deserve Lelouch. He was noble and honourable and intelligent. She was naive, out of touch, gullible. What use could Lelouch have for a sister that scorned him?

Rolo grit his teeth and ignited his Geass. Efficiency be damned, possible outcomes be damned. He was angry. That's all that mattered to him.

"You know what, Shirley?" Rolo muttered sarcastically, letting his feelings go wild. "I was wrong to think you knew what was going on with Lelouch. You have no idea."

His right eye burned as strong as his spite as he took his first step toward Shirley, standing frozen in time from his power.

"Were you there when Lelouch was at his lowest? No, you weren't. You didn't see what I saw. I saw a hero whose sister abandoned him to go to his worst enemy instead. I've seen death a thousand times, but I'd never seen a broken spirit before that day. Nunnally hurt him, betrayed him. Why would you ever want them to get back together? So she could hurt him again!? I won't allow it! I may be a fake, but I'm still a better sibling to Lelouch than Nunnally!"

He stepped in close to Shirley, glaring at her. The girl said she loved Lelouch. What a joke. If she even had a shred of care for Lelouch she would try to help him get over Nunnally, not get him hung up on the subject. Lelouch needed to look to the future. When Rolo betrayed V.V. and Britannia, that's what Lelouch had told him. Everything they were doing was for the future of the world, and their own futures too. Now Rolo was able to do the same, to reassure Lelouch the future was worth having and convince him to abandon the past. That's what brothers did for each other. They helped each other stay strong against the odds. Nunnally, and now Shirley too, were trying to hold Lelouch back from his destiny, trying to keep him weak. Rolo would not allow it.

For a second Rolo dug in his pocket for his trusty switchblade. He could tear out Shirley's throat with it and she'd be dead in seconds. It was clear now he couldn't let her live. But, once again, there would be an investigation if he did that. No, obvious murder was out of the question. A better option was making it look like suicide.

Rolo left his knife in his pocket, instead reaching for Shirley's gun, held loosely in her hand. He took hold of her arm and moved it, like a mannequin, until the gun she held was pointed at the middle of her torso, below her chest but above her abdomen. It wouldn't do for Rolo to touch the pistol directly. If Shirley was going to kill herself, it wouldn't make sense to have his fingerprints on the weapon.

As he carefully angled Shirley's finger back against the trigger, Rolo thought about the Student Council and all the days with them he'd shared. They didn't know how good they had it. They had parents, siblings, friends. Their lives may have been changed by the Emperor's Geass, but most was left intact. Their lives weren't entirely a lie. Not like his. If he was honest with himself, he envied them. He envied how they could laugh and get along with each other and everyone else at Ashford, while he sat in a corner, overwhelmed with such foreign concepts as friendship and teamwork. They were normal. They were human, not just on the outside but the inside too. They were free, maybe not completely, not in such a rigidly structured society as Britannia, but they owned themselves and acted by their own will alone. They were free to do as they pleased within the constraints of the law, they were free to make mistakes, they were free to be who they wanted to be.

Rolo envied them.

What kind of life could he have had if he hadn't been forced into the Geass Order? If he hadn't been forced into taking a defective Geass, the result of V.V. having too many active Contracts at once?

Rolo resented them.

Why should they be able to have so much for free when he and Lelouch had to fight and plot and scheme just so they could someday not have to worry about looking over their shoulder, not have to worry about someone like Jeremiah coming to kill them?

Rolo hated them.

Geass still flaming in his right eye, Rolo pushed Shirley's finger hard against the pistol's trigger, eliciting a crack then a clink as the weapon discharged into the girl's gut, a spent shell casing falling lightly to the floor. Shirley's clothes quickly began to grow damp with red, and yet she still stood completely still, not even taking a breath.

Rolo turned to leave, and as he walked resolutely away, he gave his victim a final goodbye.

"The truth is, Shirley, I always hated you the most."

LLLLLLLLLLLL


End file.
